i permit you to call me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize