this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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