I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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