It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize