why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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