A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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