The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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