Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
