you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
