i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
