Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
