what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
