Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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