What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
