Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
