What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
