Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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