When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
