Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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