and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
