no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
