I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
