PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
