another moral hangover. fuck.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
