Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
