he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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