I have demons in me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
