You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
