Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
