No stitches, just platelets and will power
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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