I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How's work?
Spinning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You made out with two different species that night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
