It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
