i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
