she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
