Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
