Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
