You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize