It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
