you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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