don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
