I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
