U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
