Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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