I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize