Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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