didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
