Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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