apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
