he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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