Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Panties = found
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