Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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