I will die if light touches me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
