watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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