He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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