Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
