we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
