would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
