I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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