One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
