Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
