My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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