I love black thongs
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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