After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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