your thong is hanging out like whoa
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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