Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
