It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
