i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
