discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then my night got REAL pukey
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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