Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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