Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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