It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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