sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
