....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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