i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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