hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
