Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
