I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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