Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize