I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just puked most of my soul out..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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