woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
