I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
