Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
