Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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