Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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