Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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