No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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